Jokes by Levi

What did the ice cream say when the banana asked when it could come over?
Only on a sundae!

What does a drama king wear to bed?

What do you call a swashbuckling rat?
A pi-rat!

What do you call a shoe that has a problem?
An is-shoe! (An issue)

What do you call a video game that you play with more than one person?
A "we!"

What do you call it when someone listens in on Christmas Eve?

And one contributed by a friend:
What's brown and sticky?
A stick!

Levi called me into his room saying, "Oliver's a quarterback." Oliver was on the bed on his tummy with 4 quarters on his back.

What does a crocodile say when it wants to be a rooster?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Honestly, Some of You Wanted to Know

Okay kids. I truly had a few of you waiting with baited breath for the result of my research on lay vs. lie. Welcome, grammar lovers! Here goes:

Again, this is from Grammar Girl and can be found in its entirety at Believe me, you'll probably need to reference this one again.

So . . . according to Grammar Girl, lay requires a direct object. (Stay with me here.) As in, Lay the book on the table (the book being the direct object.) Lie does not require a direct object as in I am going to lie down on the sofa.

Says GG, "you lay something down. People lie down by themselves."

Okay, now if that didn't confuse you, here's where the going really gets tough because lay is the past tense of lie:

"So, anyway, here's how to conjugate these two verbs: The past tense of lie is lay, so

Last week, Steve lay down on the floor.
The cat lay in the mud after it rained yesterday.

The past tense of lay is laid, so

Last week, I laid the TPS report on your desk.
Mary forcefully laid her ring on the table.

The past participle of lie is lain, so

Steve has lain on the floor for days.
The cat has lain in the mud for hours.

The past participle of lay is laid, so

I have laid the TPS report on your desk.
Mary has forcefully laid her ring on the table.

Don't feel bad if you can't remember these right away. Practice will help, and truthfully, I still have to look them up every time I use them. It's just important to know what you know, and what you don't know, and to go to the trouble to look it up and get it right because these are hard-and-fast rules.That's all. "

Aren't you glad you asked?