Jokes by Levi

What did the ice cream say when the banana asked when it could come over?
Only on a sundae!

What does a drama king wear to bed?

What do you call a swashbuckling rat?
A pi-rat!

What do you call a shoe that has a problem?
An is-shoe! (An issue)

What do you call a video game that you play with more than one person?
A "we!"

What do you call it when someone listens in on Christmas Eve?

And one contributed by a friend:
What's brown and sticky?
A stick!

Levi called me into his room saying, "Oliver's a quarterback." Oliver was on the bed on his tummy with 4 quarters on his back.

What does a crocodile say when it wants to be a rooster?

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Poop (Yes, You Read Correctly)

Parenting my 5 year-old isn't completely fun these days. He's hit the stage where bodily fluids, solids and noises are of constant and extreme fascination. Now, I know this is a normal developmental stage (why, oh why, did Mother Nature include this one?) but Oliver seems to be inhabiting an extreme end of the stage. Remember those nice bell curves someone taught you about long ago? It starts low on the left, rises up to the top, and then drops back down, down, down, showing the far, far outliers on the right. Well, go as far right as you can and you'd find O's point.

So first it was an fascination with diapers, what babies do in diapers, did he once wear a diaper?, and what are those things attached to the public bathroom walls (changing tables). He'll still stop me as I'm looking at a magazine and pass a photo of a baby with a diaper obviously showing. What's that?, he'll ask, though he clearly knows. And then we go through all the questions above.

He's discovered all the words for burping and passing gas and throwing up. He burps VERY loudly, VERY frequently, and then sings a little excuse-me song that, rather than begging pardon, highlights the act even more.

Sorry folks but here it comes--he also farts. LOUDLY and proudly. He turns to you and sticks his bottom out to do it. He sings the excuse-me song. He and his brother laugh uproariously. He comments when he does it, Levi does it, the dog does it.

Today in the car, he even proclaimed to have "barfed" twice although actually he's never thrown up in his life. He's so proud of it now. I'm sure he won't be so happy about it once it finally happens but right now he's insistent that he's part of the those-who-have-barfed club.

I can't figure out whether to ignore it (hard to do because it's really unpleasant to downright disgusting) or to add fuel to the fire in hopes that it'll flare and then burn down. Though I know that with boys this type of humor never dies, is it too much to hope for a lessening of the obsession?

At this point, I've gone for adding fuel to the fire and we are reading "The Truth About Poop," a kid's book, courtesy of our local library. He LOVES it. That's about as far as I can go in the if-you-can't-beat-them-join-them department.

Please, someone help!